Smell Walks

Dear Miss Lilly,

I read an article the other day about how to keep your dog happy…….mix things up and make sure you take them on  “Smell Walks”. Hum

According to Scientific America your nose is one million times more sensitive than mine; and it’s  important that walks aren’t just tactical human versions of the walk. Walks that are completed at a brisk pace, specific in purpose for bathroom relief, and exercise. But rather the dog version of a walk, completed at a leisurely pace, following scents from one spot to another, meandering in direction more importantly than distance.

Reflecting on our daily walks, I’m glad you are SO happy, but clearly the next article I read needs to be “How to be the Alpha with your dog”.

Sincerely,

Clearly not in control.

Life, kids and Lilly

 

Dear Miss Lilly,

In a recent conversation with Aunt Madi, she mentioned that she would find our blog posts far more read worthy if they were more about kids and life. I gave this consideration and reviewed our 2014 blog topics:

• It started out all about your needs and constantly trying to get attention
• We reviewed things you want, but can not have
• I complained about you not picking up your toys
• How you are always tracking dirt in the house
• How you are making a mess of my car
• The on-going of you doing things you are not allowed to do, and eating things you throw up
• My desire for you to stop waking me up so early everyday and let me sleep in
• And the ordeal of having to take you out in the cold when I don’t want to

These may have all been about you, but I smile and recall the same stories about Sabine and Aaron.  And with them too I made the same mistake…….so many stories about the trials of life and so few about all the good times, when you curl up on my feet and want to be pet. How you make me feel loved just by putting your head in my lap. How warm and cozy you feel. Yes in life we often remember all the trials and forget all the great and loving times.  In reflection of this and what we shared this past year,  I wonder “Exactly what does Aunt Madi think life and kids is all about?”…..I see no difference.

Sincerely,

Loving all my children.

 

Our Christmas Thief…

Dear Miss Lilly,

You have a big problem. I found the bag of Christmas rolls hidden behind the pillow of the sofa. There seems to be 11 missing. I’m sorry to say you’ll not be eating the last one. You are not allowed to take food from the pantry and hide it for your eating. Your food is not in the pantry! That would be our food.

I don’t know whether to laugh or be angry. I guess I’ll save angry for when you vomit them all up at 4:00am.

Sorry family, we’ll not be having butter topped fresh rolls tomorrow for Christmas.

Sincerely,
Bunless.

It’s not me…it’s you.

Dear Miss Lilly,

I would appreciate it if you would stop looking at me like that. You haven’t done anything wrong, and I’m not punishing you. But yes, I’ve shorten your walks. It’s -20° outside and I’m freezing my ass off.

Please understand I’m not trying to be lazy and I’ll agree I wasn’t well researched to know at these cold temperatures what limitations should be implemented due to exposure. So in fairness I have done my research.

Studies released in 2012 indicate that your paws have built in snow boots much like penguins wings etc. Your paws have the ability to circulate blood from your feet quickly to heat it up for you. That’s good news I guess it makes me feel less concerned for you with respect to exposure.

However, when you start hobble walking on three alternate feet I feel you’ve reached your limit and we are done. So don’t look at me I have layers on….you called the shots on this one.

Sincerely,
Can’t feel my feet wish I was a dog.

You’ll never catch them.

Dear Miss Lilly,

Let’s take a few minutes to understand the agile properties of a squirrel which are extremely remarkable.

• A squirrel can jump over 20ft for their size that would be like you jumping 120ft. I’ve only ever seen you jump 2ft.
• They have double jointed back legs that helps them run up trees and jump from one to the other. You do not.
• They can run up to 20 miles an hour. You are better suited for longer slower runs unfortunately.

So perhaps you now better understand that every time you see a squirrel you race after, the only thing you’ll ever get is a bonk on the head as the retractable leash hits you.

Perhaps a no win situation that’s not worth it. I sure would appreciate your giving up.

Sincerely,

Enough with the squirrels.

Days of the Week

 

 

Dear Miss Lilly,

Congratulations on your accomplishments. You’ve been able to tell time for years…. I’m not allowed to sleep in past 8:00, you like to go outside to play at 11:00, dinner is at exactly 5:00 and you need to pee before bed by 9:30. You can understand more english than is good for you with the selective hearing of a teen, and now recently you know the days of the week.

Monday to Friday you get Mom up to go for a walk. Dad can get up and walk around no big deal but if I’m not up by 7:30 or I happen to roll over you are right there waiting to nudging me out of bed.  BUT, I’m now thankful you’ve learned that  Saturday and Sunday  it’s ….. DAD AND THE PARK!!!!! Here in Calgary there are more than 150 off leash dog parks with over 1,250 hectares of land dedicated to you and your friends to run around. It’s estimated that might be more than any other city in North America!  I know that makes you excited and thankful, so on these days you jump up when Dad gets out of bed and follow him around tail wagging with an excited and watchful eye waiting, waiting for the keys and the “Come on”.

 

Since you’ve started going to the park you’ve  learned: patience with others, sniffing you is a friendly greeting, barking is not appreciated, when Dad calls you you get a treat, and shade grass is a good place to cool down.  Over the next few months we will work on your understanding around:

• Pooping in tall grass is a pain to scoop
• There’s no reason to slink towards others they find it aggressive
• You can not catch the Whippets, Pinschers, Wolf hounds or Shepherds
• All balls are not your toys
• Mud puddles should be avoided and are NOT restful baths

Learning these few extra lessons will continue to make park visits enjoyable for everyone. Have fun and I’ll join you in the afternoons because I can now finally sleep in.

Sincerely,

Enjoying the Weekends

New Toys!

Dear Miss Lilly,

Since you are now 6 we’ve gone through this many times. When your toys are old, stuffingless torn up, unrecognizable toys we throw them out. I then faithfully go out and buy you new ones. I’m very happy you always like your new toys. However, if you take every new toy and rip them apart within 5 minutes of getting it you’ll have nothing to do after that. Additionally I then have to walk around and grumble about picking up stuffing, and how much I spent on that new, now destroyed toy, which then makes me feel like I should just sew up squares filled with stuffing to give to you.  It’s a good thought but of course it never happens as I will never have the time.  So instead you are left with torn up toys for weeks until I feel sorry for you and we do it all over again. Yes I’ve tried stuffingless toys but they are usually filled with squeekers which you tear apart to get as well.

Here’s something to consider……how about you play with your toys one at a time over several days and weeks.  They’ll last longer you’ll have more “New Toy” moments and I’ll feel like the new toys were a wise investment to keep you entertained.

Sincerely,

Torn up and thrown out.

Socks are not food.

Dear Miss Lilly,

I know your not feeling well at all. I feel bad for you and don’t know how to make you better….. No wait I do. Let me share some wisdom with you. Socks make you sick. You throw up every time you eat them. Which is at least once a week. So that means you’ve eaten and thrown up hundreds of socks.

We are all trying to make sure they are picked up in our rooms, and we are closing our doors. I check the back of the sofa regularly because I know that’s where you like to hide them for later. But I caught you pulling one out of the dirty laundry hamper in the laundry room. Why? Why? These things make you feel like crap when you eat them. Not to mention now that we have carpet in the house it’s horrible to try to clean up.

So I would appreciate you cease eating socks and throwing them up and ruining the carpet. You have toys go play with them. You’ll feel so much better.

Sincerely,

Enough with the vomit socks.

I’m sorry you couldn’t come to Florida

Dear Miss Lilly,

I know it’s hard when someone in the family travels. You know as soon as you see the suitcase that someone is going somewhere and you don’t want to be left behind. You assume the “glued to the leg” position and put on an impossible pout.  If it’s a purse/bag that’s pulled out there is a good chance you can come for the car ride.

This past week I needed to go to Florida for work. Got to stay at Disney and it was HOT! Yes that’s water. Yes I know you missed swimming in the lake this year. Maybe I’ll look for a place you can get into the Bow River and go for a swim, I forgot how you might have missed this. It would however have been nice to have 2 flip flops. You know like one for each foot. I forgot you had reached in my suitcase while I was packing and taken one out. (Got caught up in snapping the pic). Thank you for not destroying it while I was away.

I’m home now and know that Dad took you to the dog park so you must be happier. We’ll work on that swimming opportunity.

Sincerely,

Shoeless in Florida

 

 

You’re Grounded

Dear Miss Lilly,

You’ve been very well trained that when the front door is open it’s not appropriate to bolt outside, and that if you are good and patient we normally take you with us. You understand while outside in the front yard there are invisible boundaries and you stay on property. So what were you thinking when you were digging this?

That digging is fun? That you were just too clean? That something smelly was burried? That freedom is on the other side? Have you watched any of those Hope for Paws videos of lost and left dogs wandering the streets starving? Breaks my heart. Clearly you are not thinking of the consequences of your actions.

That’s unfortunate, you are now grounded.  You can no longer have unsupervised time in the back yard for the rest of the week. The hole will be filled as soon as I can find  extra dirt as I can’t seem to find enough now to fill the hole. I guess this was all the mud from your feet for the past few days that you brought inside.   Clearly I was distracted to not connect that even though it was raining there still should not be mud in the yard or I would have investigated sooner.

Please note that I have told the kids about this behaviour and your grounded state so stop trying to get them to let you out. Sabine is your best shot at supervised time in the yard so good luck with her.

And yes it is irrelevant that you would probably just go sit on the front porch that’s not the point. No digging.

Sincerely,
Dirty in the Dirt.